


wasted opportunities

by cinvmatic



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Drabble, Drinking, Gen, Self-Harm, Smoking, Substance Abuse, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony-centric, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, author is sad, but he thinks about it, he doesn’t actually do any of that, this is a vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-16
Updated: 2018-08-16
Packaged: 2019-06-28 07:48:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15702933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cinvmatic/pseuds/cinvmatic
Summary: tony has a bad day.the moment he falls into bed and closes his eyes all he wants to do is get back up and try something self-destructive.[or: the author probably needs therapy but is choosing to project via tony stark instead]





	wasted opportunities

**Author's Note:**

> warnings: mentions of self-harm, drinking and smoking. 
> 
> authors note: i feel like shit so i decided to write a little somethin somethin, aka i project through tony to make myself feel better. good night, i hope you enjoy.

Tony has a bad day.

The moment he falls into bed and closes his eyes all he wants to do is get back up and try something self-destructive. He wants to, needs to, get off his ass and punish himself because too many people have died and it’s his fault. He has to make his lungs black with smoke and his head feel hazy from too much vodka and his skin red and bloody, because it’s what he deserves. People are hurting because of him so he should be hurting too, he should be screaming in agony for being such a fuck-up, such a disappointment and such a goddamn mistake.

In the end, Tony stays in bed.

He doesn’t drink, and he doesn’t smoke. He lays, tangled amongst his pristine white sheets and expensive blankets and he wonders what the fuck is wrong with him. He has everything in the world, there are plenty of people out there who would kill to be in his place, and yet here he is - stuck. Useless. Broken.

He may be a mechanic, but he sure as hell doesn’t know how to fix himself. He doesn’t know what to do, what rules to follow or what steps to take. He doesn’t know how to not feel like this.

The last thing tony should feel is depressed and yet here he is, sat in his big fucking mansion with his successful fucking company and his multi million dollar fucking suits. He doesn’t deserve happiness, or pity, or to loathe and cry because he should be fine. he should be okay.

So no, he doesn’t drink and he doesn’t smoke that night. He lays in bed, and he doesn’t scream or throw things or cut himself.

To most people, that might seem like progress. 

To him it just seems like a wasted opportunity.

**Author's Note:**

> find me on the hellsite know as tumblr: cinvmatic.tumblr.com


End file.
